12-29-25
Ok i guess its journaling time. 2026 resolution is to try and lock in on my health, and this should iunclude my mental health, and hopefully this will help with that, or at least give me some clarity
Climbing is going pretty well. last week i climbed a v4 even though i couldnt repeat the crux sloper. i really suck at slopers, and should work on that. I hit my second 5.10 and could actually repeat it which is nice! I feel like i could p;robably redo the first 5.10 i did but it hurt my finger so now im kind of scared of it. maybe ill give it some more burns but its powerful which is kind of my current reliance so maybe ill find a more balancey 5.10 to project. Climbing has been my main passion and is really getting me through things.
Melee is what it is. Took off a few months and played a lot of cs in this time. Its a lot of fun but im not sure how seriously i can take either game right now. Im tired today which negatively affects my mental but it feels stupid right now, like a waste of time, and if im being honest a painful reminder that i never made it anywhere in any esport. this is realistically all dumb so im just gonna try my best to have fun with games. probably minimal focused practice. I dont even know about tournaments I feel like theres freinds I lose connection with if I don't compete but i dont wanna get stomped, we'll see. climbing is definitely the main focus. Signed up for a comp on January 10th which is my first climbing comp. Should be fun but we will see.
Real life is scary lol. Marriage is cool, l;ife is generally good, but job hunting needs to start like next week and thats scary. I like my current job and it sucks thast it doesn't pay well enough to live my life. But thats life I just have to figure it out. The right thing will come to me if im tactful, I hope. I refuse to be one of those tech bros who works constantly and has no life. I will not stop climbing and I would like to also not stop playing games. I get a lot out of those things, and I don't want that to take any sort of back burner. Starting a family is also scary and will surely be a pretty big time sink. Finding time will probably become a really hard thing that will be a lot to manage. I guess thats why so many people give up and get fat, I refuse to do this even if my schedule kills me lol.
OK doomer posting over. life is scary but I will figure it out. I am super stoked on climbing and spending time with friends, I have a beatutiful wife and its my own fault im a failure to launch. I got a degree with good grades and I can figure it oput im more than capable, just lazy sometimes. The world is in my hands I just need to take it.
2026 Resolutions: Healthy Eating, no vaping, this journal, climb v5, very minimal alcohol consumption, try to do everything I can do be good to the planet
Gonna put a note on the be good to the planet thing. I donated to the climbers access fund, but I need to find more things I can do. Maybe eating less meat, maybe an electric car. Ill figure it out but for now ill come back to this. Happy new year everyone!
ok little P.S here its the night of this same day so still counts. I am feeling better I was just overtired and it was making me emo. I played some melee when I got home from workm and felt pretty good about it so were gonna keep playing and competing. Real life is still scary but whatever well figure that out.